Let me just start by saying that my anxiety is out of control to begin with.

I am a very routine-prone person. I like my tasks to be timed, my to-do list to be tackled, and my activities spaced out evenly throughout my day.

The biggest anxiety I have ever experienced was the second after I decided to take a leave of absence and travel to Europe for five weeks.

As my finger hovered above the “Confirm Trip” button, my impulsive heart flooded with adrenaline. I was beside myself because even though my anxiety was at an all-time high, I was the surest I had ever been about a decision.

After a comforting swig of red wine, and a final fleeting, “are you really going to do this?” my finger took on a mind of its own and clicked.

Soon after the definitive charge notification dinged on my banking app, I knew that the anxiety I had been experiencing before this very moment was destined to increase within the next coming weeks.

How do you tell your job, your manager, and your coworkers that you spontaneously booked a trip that will willingly put you out of the office (and better yet, out of cell phone service) for a significant amount of time?

And oh…not only will you be gone, but you will also be thrusting your duties onto someone else. You will be willingly taking time for yourself while someone else “takes one for the team.”

The guilt, remorse, and apologetic emotions will stay nestled in your gut even after you approach your boss. Because chances are, this conversation is not going to end well.

As stressful, challenging, and gut-wrenching as this discussion is going to be…you have to realize that at one point, you wanted this. Yes, this is going to be tough, but you are strong and you can do this!

That being said, here are some tips that will help you speak up and have that very direct conversation with your job about taking a significant leave of absence:

1. Have a Plan B, C, D, E, F…

I cannot stress this enough – have a plan. Strategies are necessary for this situation, so before you have this impending conversation with your boss, make sure you have your shit together.

Before you blurt out your request to take a leave of absence, take the time to plan out this conversation:

How is your boss going to react?

If they say this…what will be your response?

If they say that…what will you follow up with?

It is also important to plan out who will be taking over your duties and work responsibilities while you are out of the office. Come with a pre-made list of whom will take over what, and come with ideas on how you will be able to effectively take this time off without sacrificing the job you are obligated (and paid!) to do.

Think hard, get creative, and come with a plan. This will show your boss how much you truly care for your position and how much you are willing to make this work to benefit both of you.

2. Practice

Once you have a plan in place as to how this conversation will go, take the time to practice.

Develop your “elevator speech” as to why you want this leave of absence to travel. Pinpoint how this will help your growth as a person, and how you are vying for this adventure of a lifetime. Then, host a mock-conversation with your roommate, friend, or significant other. This way, you will be prepared for any scenario and any reaction!

3. Be Direct In Your Delivery

Don’t beat around the bush; be direct, be confident, and be strong. This is your life we are talking about here…don’t you want to live it? Make sure that desire and passion come across unwavering in your delivery.

You’re young, you want more out of this mundane lifestyle, and you know you are good at your job. Go experience the real world and then you can come back and experience the working world. You want this for you, and you are willing to make this work, so show them that you mean business!

4. Hold Back Those Tears

There is nothing worse than losing your shit in front of your boss.

I understand this is a terrifying time. You’re going into this blind, and you are asking for something that is perpetually unattainable by most companies. Yes, it’s scary, but it’s also exhilarating because in the end, this is all going to be worth it and you might be surprised by how your boss will respond.

When I asked for my leave of absence, my General Manager at the time simply stated: “Natalie, don’t worry…I took two weeks off of work when I was your age…go see the world.”

All the pent up emotion and exhaustion was all for nothing! You never know how management will respond, so keep your head high and stand your ground!

5. Be Honest

Don’t claim that this trip is for religious purposes. Don’t blame this decision on your parents for forcing you to work since you were 16. Don’t put this on anyone else but yourself. You have decided to embark on this journey so own up to it; put your big girl pants on and get to work.

Be upfront, be real, and be unapologetically yourself. This is your time to fight for something that you really want to do, and earn the respect of your management team in doing so.

Get to planning and communicating so you can get to traveling!