I know what you’re thinking.
“It was never going to last.”
“The long-distance was bound to get old at some point.”
“There is no way their relationship is realistic.”
I’ve heard it all and I’m sure you have too.
However, there is one thing you need to understand about a traveler – we really don’t care what you think.
We embrace every moment (and every person) with open arms and rarely do we ever think that luxury, beauty, and love will end.
Unfortunately, in the real world…it does.
Almost all of us dream of that Lizzie McGuire “Sing to me, Paolo” moment where we are swept off our feet by the latest accent in tight jeans. We envision someone stopping in their tracks while we subtly “admire” a sculpture of some marble Roman god. We salivate at the thought of a male taking interest in our “worldly beauty” and driving us off into the sunset on their obnoxious blue Vespa.
Unfortunately, in the real world, sometimes this does happen.
Sometimes we do meet that once-in-a-lifetime traveling love match. It takes us by surprise, and it’s always sweet and serene, but it’s always devastating the moment it ends.
Another thing you need to know about a traveler – we are very dramatic. And, when an overseas romance ends, it’s hard to pull us out of our theatrical, emotional state.
If you’ve been through a travel romance breakup, I know it’s hard to bounce back. In any relationship, no matter if you met in Spain or at your local grocery store, it’s hard to accept when it’s finally over.
From experience, I can tell you it’s not easy getting over someone, especially someone you met on a trip. However, it’s doable. As upsetting as it is, getting over your travel boyfriend is possible, and the adventure back to yourself is almost as sweet as the time spent together.
Here are ten things to do when your travel romance ends:
1. Take A Day
This sucks. I know.
So, take a day and just process. Huddle up on the couch, order your favorite take out, hell, even drown yourself in your sorrows and just be. Don’t try to do anything during this day; just lick your wounds, nap, and watch a mind-numbing tv show (my recommendation, Below Deck Mediterranean)
The first day is always the hardest, so, all you can do at this point is just get through it. Your body is probably exhausted from the initial shock of the breakup. Just hug yourself, cry, and relax. It’s okay to be vulnerable and undone.
2. Wash Your Sheets
My beautiful roommates handled this one for me, but take a moment to wash your sheets. Even if he hasn’t physically been in your bed for a while, the simple act of washing your bedding will internally rid your mind and body of him.
3. Rearrange Your Room
I couldn’t bear to be in my bedroom for longer than a few minutes, so again, my angelic roommates assisted me with rearranging my furniture and helped to create a new look in my personal space. This new Feng Shui was a necessary change and gave me a fresh outlook on my surroundings.
4. Succumb to Retail Therapy
I’m the first one to say “I’m saving money!” However, in this case, I needed quick pleasure and I needed it fast.
Let the allure of Amazon Prime, Target, and Ulta take over during this time.
Do you want a new bathing suit? Go for it.
Can’t stand the smell of your body wash anymore? Toss it out.
Need a new purse? Swipe that credit card.
Sometimes, it’s okay to let loose and burn some cash. Trust me, I am the cheapest person out there…but in this case, it felt good to just buy some things for me and not worry about the repercussions.
5. Tackle the Hard Questions
People are going to ask. It’s up to you to tell what you want to tell.
I repeated our story countless times to everyone within an arm’s reach who would listen. In a way, it was exhausting. On the other hand, it felt good to rip off the bandaid and proclaim that it ended and that I was on the market again.
To each their own, but be ready to be asked about what happened. Whether you spill your guts, or simply state that it didn’t work out, that is completely and totally up to you (and no one else!)
6. Lean On Your Friends
You’re raw, and you’re emotional. Your friends are there to help pick up the pieces. I talked my best friends’ ears off for weeks, and it was nice to have a sounding board. It was also amazing to know how many people cared.
Dozens of friends and family members reached out during this time, and I felt so humbled and loved. From Edible arrangements and handwritten cards to home-cooked dinners, I felt the tenderness and understanding exude from every person in my life. Lean into that, and rely on those people who are truly (and forever) there for you.
7. Self Care
Take a bath, eat McDonald’s, get a massage, manicure, pedicure, get your hair done. Do what feels good to you.
You’re allowed to feel beautiful and you’re allowed to treat yourself delicately. Don’t let anyone tell you that getting a breakup haircut is a cliché or that you should just get over it and move on. This is your time to grieve, and you decide how to do so.
Chop off those locks, dye your hair whatever color you want, and begin to feel like the you that you have always wanted to be. I promise, self-care IS a hobby and it’s much needed during this time.
8. Find A New Hobby
Self-care became my hobby. But, so did reading books, writing blogs, working out, and everything else I couldn’t do when I was with my long-distance boyfriend. The beach became my escape, a good Netflix show became my quiet time, and focusing on myself became my new to-do.
So did roller skating, but we’ll get to that in another blog. The point is, I found new things to do to fill up my time and divert my energy to substance and quality.
9. Breathe
Breathe. This is hard. You’ll have off-days. You’ll crack and check his social media. You’ll miss your time together. But the important thing to do is to take a deep breath, remind yourself that you’re doing your very best, and keep going. As time passes, this gets easier. So, bear the ebbs and flows, listen to your favorite song, and be comforted by knowing that it gets better.
10. Book Another Trip
Okay, don’t be as dramatic and spontaneous as me (or do…I don’t care) but get back out there!
Don’t let this bump in the road stop you from going after what you want. In fact, use it as motivation to do even more. I booked my trip to Egypt, decided I wanted to look into going back to school, and prepared to saddle up for my next chapter. Whether these things happen, or not, I know that I have some exciting times ahead of me.
My travel boyfriend brought me joy, memories, and excitement. But…now it’s time for more. And, it’s time for more for you too.
Shake it off, grab your plane ticket, and remind yourself that relationships, much like trips, are sometimes only meant to be a short, fleeting adventure.
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